We asked our readers to submit their take on Hatefarm’s poster girl, Mistress Missy. We got 24 submissions and picked the winners based on pure awesomeness (which is the culmination of a lot of different things, we’ll try to sort of explain below). Click here to see the original rules page, and scroll down to enjoy the submissions!
Adam Black - “Madonna Missy” – Locus Comics
Wins $60, A “Realistic Mistress Missy“ 24×36 Poster and Mall Monkeys CD!
Eric Commentary: Just gorgeous all around! Masterful technique, pays homage to her established background while adding some new tidbits that totally make sense, AND riffs on some classic religious portraiture in a hilarious way. I would totally rock of a poster of this. My only crit is that the circles under her eyes make her look a little bit overly demonic but I’m pretty sure that’s the fucking point. She is half demon after all. Stellar work, Adam! Go read his comic for more tits and demons!
Rob Commentary: Spectacular on all accounts. I can’t find a single pixel of this image that I don’t like.
Raven Perez - “Big Mystery Misadventures” - Ravens Dojo
Wins $30, and a Mall Monkeys CD!
Eric Commentary: I laughed at nearly every goddamned panel for an extended period of time. The one liners are the stuff of dreams. The best thing of all is that not a single bit of this feels out of place in terms of her universe and I want to see this game happen. The only thing I was a little sad about was that I didn’t get to see Missy represented in Raven’s usual masterful style (see it at Ravensdojo.com). Still, a lot of work and funny went into this. Fantastic!
Rob Commentary: I literally lost my mind when I saw this one. The “Tap Faster For Fap Taster” panel alone could have won this whole thing for me had we not gotten an unexpected surge of many fantastic entries.
Dave Barrack - “Taking it to Eleven” - Grrl Power
Wins $15, and a Mall Monkeys CD!
Eric Commentary: I was a little shocked to see that Dave B would get so raunchy with his submission but it’s obviously because he wanted to do it right. He ran out of time to color, but his linework and technique are so solid that it works just fine as is. There’s a lot to look at and enjoy here, as well as a dildo that would appear to be named after myself (or perhaps erectyle dysfunction, or maybe after Ed the horse, who the fuck knows), but once I saw the panel at the bottom I lost it. It brought a tear to my eye, as well, dad. Go see his webcomic, grrlpowercomic.com, for more beautifully drawn womens.
Rob Commentary: This has greatness on every level. I want to print it out and color it in with crayons. I’m sure some of the pervs who read this site are going to do much more awful things with it.
Devin Blake - Monster Soup
Eric Commentary: This is one of the most technically masterful, if not the most, of all the submissions. I love it. I wanted it to get in the top 3, but as the other judges accurately pointed out, it’s a little plain, especially when compared to the other hilarious submissions. You’re a badass in my book, Devin. And her webcomic, which, jesus, I didn’t even know about until recently, is one of the prettiest out there. Give it a look!
Aviv Itzcovitz - Stupid Snake
Rob Commentary: This is one of my favorites. I would wear a t-shirt with this image on it.
Eric Commentary: I love this one. So much. I really do. Except you made us look fucking old, Rex. Fuck you! FAILED!
Kyatt – Beeserker
Rob Commentary: Another one I really, really enjoy. The style is purely fucking cool and I love the coloring.
Joanna Eberts – Joanna Eberts Illustration
Eric Commentary: Man, so close! First of all, this gets massive amounts of points from me for being in traditional paint medium. (As well as Lynn’s entry, down the page some). However her overall head and neck proportions kill it for me. The body, the horse and the overall idea/composition are all winning for me. So awesome. I think its the no neck thing but it’s still badass as it is, and I couldn’t do it with paint, that’s for sure.
Rob Commentary: Eric liked this one and I didn’t so I’m going to explain why the same way I did to him: my dick is not a horsey. Let this be known that my dislike is not based on skill or taste, it is purely personal and that’s why I’m not allowed to judge most things. P-Rex lost to Tug McBrawl in what could be called the most arbitrary vote of all time, but I’ll be damned if that means I am going to roll over and let my cock be rode upon like a common steed! Wait, maybe I should rethink this…
Andrew Gregoire – I am ARG
Eric Commentary: I really just made this contest so that I could get an ARG style Missy drawing without even letting him win anything. DOUBLE SCORE! Listen, if you’re not reading his webcomic, you might be an idiot.
Fevley - http://fevley.deviantart.com/
Rob Commentary: I don’t know where this one goes wrong but it’s really good.I feel like it might lose points because I can’t stop looking at that elephant. Just look at that fucking elephant! It’s majestic.
Rob Commentary: This image has ruined my life. I feel inclined to like it. I like that song, I like Sonic, and I like rainbows. So why does it fill me with so much disgust? What the fuck is going on with the background? Why are they standing on green clouds? Why have Missy’s tattoos been replaced with a list of mostly okay bands and one really shitty one (HINT: it’s Phish. Phish is the worst.)? I understand whatever that mishmash of skulls and snakes is might be hard to draw but they are not easily mistaken for Offspring’s skull logo and the words Reel Big Fish. I can’t look at this anymore. It’s bending my grasp on reality, which was already tenuous at best.
“Thanks for Playings”
Bill Taylor - http://trippcomic.com
CAV - http://cavpollos.com/
Esor Kitteh - http://gnomebubbles.
Reverend Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz - http://velvetrasput.info/
Gary Cohen - http://www.inkbot.net/mallville_rules_32.html