HateFarm

A Webcomic for Women
January 8th, 2012 – By Eric

According to some of our female readers, comics in the past have left them feeling…alienated. This was never our intention, and so after a weeks worth of research we have concocted the ultimate in feminine webcomicry.  Guys, this comic is strong enough for a man, but MADE for a woman. Seriously though, ladies, I hope you’re happy. You’ve got your Levar Burton Strawberry Unicow, Cats, Yoga, and awkward man kisses. We do this not for the best friend-saliva, but for the lady love. Totally not gay.

HATEFARM is one year old as of a few days ago! To celebrate…well, not much. The friends page is up with some links and more on the way. There is a Mistress Missy wallpaper up on the extras page. I’m hoping to get the archive page up and running within the month along with some other bells and whistles, like an inkoutbreak banner.

We have to make some decisions about our advertising situation in the near future. Project Wonderful has turned us down because we are too awesome adult oriented.  That’s cool and all, it’s their service, and if they want to support comics that are pretty much constant porn and not us, that’s on them. But that leaves one other easy and reliable source of advertising — Google Adsense, and I feel like they’re going to turn us down as we currently are. This leaves us with some options:

• Go back and censor a few comics so that Adsense will give us the OK. The uncensored versions of said comics might have to be available through some back door access or maybe like an eventual book sale. I’m not too keen on the idea of censoring.
• Keep things the way they are, offer advertising on the site to those who are interested…however so far there has been zero interest. *UPDATE* Actually, after posting my rant there has been some interest! Thanks to Iamarg and everyone else who emailed me about advertising…you make the internet significantly less shitty. Show HATEFARM and our friends support by clicking on the ads and checking our their goods!
• Submit HATEFARM to Adsense as is and slip them a $20 for their troubles.
• Keep paying for site out of pocket, suck it up and stop fucking whining.
• Try to more actively partner with other like minded sites and comics that are not afraid to be awesome.
• Become women.
• Turn HATEFARM into a porn site.
• Go look at other porn.
• Make lists.

If you have any suggestions, I guess you can make them below, but I think we’d all just rather have a discussion about the Levar Burton Strawberry Unicow instead.

If you’re interested in advertising on our site, drop me an email. We get anywhere from 1100-1400 hits a day, and up to 5000 a day when we advertise ourselves. It’ll be around $15 for 2 weeks on the top banner or $10 for 2 weeks on the bottom banner…maybe more or less depending on how awesome your ad is or how long you want to advertise.

-E

Suicide Ladies
December 30th, 2011 – By Eric

Some of you wanted to see more of our poster girl, Mistress Missy. While my primary motivation with this comic was to fulfill the freakish affinities for sexy cartoon ladies that you and I both share…I also wanted to poke a little fun at Suicide Girls. Not just them, but the whole idea of “alternative girls” (who are, for the uninitiated, a girl with any combination of the following elements: short hair, piercings, tattoos, multicolored or primary hair colors, far too much eye makeup.) Personally I’m just a sucker for short hair ladies, but I wanted our leading female to be all of those things. And also a giant ho.

A webcomic as sleazy and slutty as HATEFARM needs a star that reflects itself. Also, she should be the embodiment of taboo, sexualization, and have genitals that posses demonic powers. I’m interested in developing her character a little bit more as right now she’s just kind of an empty stereotype. I mean, I know she’s a world renown porn actress dominatrix demon bitch, but why? And why should we care? I’m just saying it’s time she went on an adventure and found out who she really is, deep down inside.

On second thought, nah, we should just stick with the crude and juvenile sex jokes. I think we need a comic with butt sex in it. Hahaha! Butt sex is hilarious.

Happy New Years guys, lets make it the best one we’ve ever fucking had.

Eric

Zoo of a Kind
December 23rd, 2011 – By Rob

I think the important thing, this being the holiday season and all, is to apologize. I’m not sure why I do the things that I do. But my mind goes to strange places and imagines stranger things, and at the end of the day, I am pretty sure that pandas are into really rough sex. I mean, they’re bears. Bears are sort of the unofficial mascot of this comic, I think. Birthday ones, polar ones, kinky sitcom-parodizing ones. But in a way, isn’t that how it is in life? We’re all just different kinds of bears, you guys.

And I know what you’re thinking. “Rob, there’s nothing in that paragraph that makes a goddamn bit of sense! You’re just filling up space with nonsense!” Au contraire, my friend. The thing is… no, that’s absolutely correct. I was going to lie to you, and that’s just not right. That isn’t the kind of thing I stand for and I’ll be damned if I’m remembered for being some fraud rather than who I know at the end of the day I really am. That I can stand up in the face of eternity and everyone in this world and say hey, dudes. Look at these crazy bears. They are so wacky, acting like people.

But in a way, isn’t that how it is in life? Maybe we’re all just bears… different kinds of bears- of varying size, color and porridge temperature preferences – pretending to be people.

Thank you.

Goodnight.

Have a lovely, non-denominational holiday.
– Rob

Ninja Mutant Turtle Teens
December 1st, 2011 – By Eric

Hey people, if you at all dig our website (even if it’s just to leave passive aggressive comments below), we ask that you get serious with the voting starting TODAY! The votes on Topwebcomics reset every month and we’d love to get into the top 100  for December. You can vote every day, and you should probably get all your friends to vote too. It would make us feel extremely warm and fuzzy in our heart boxes. Vote now for the love of Horse!

I always wondered what the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would look like portrayed in a more literal sense. Throw a little “darkness” into this reboot and you have a dysfunctional family setting filled with angsty teenage freaks. All the turtles here have some deep seeded problems that they will have to learn to overcome before they go off to ninja college. While they train to be ninjas physically, they will have to become ninjas of the heart to survive.

Donatello is the chain smoking emo turtle who wallows in cigarette smoke and sad music. He hates the world and finds joy in his tears. Raphael is the naive hippie stoner kid who smokes so much weed he can barely find the time to smoke weed. Michelangelo is the overeating gamer addict with zero social skills and a bad attitude. Leonardo is obsessed with his looks but can never attain true happiness due to his tiny penis (and probably the giant mutated balls on his face). April O’Neil is there to look decidedly emo yet sexy (as always) and Splinter is in the back in a hazy depressed mess of alcohol and medication.

I think this would make a pretty sweet poster, so I’m going to make myself one at Kinkos! If anyone else agrees and thinks they would buy a poster of this, I’ll get it set up so you can order one.

Oh hey, you might have noticed, there are some new pages to look at. About HATEFARM is where we hide our FAQ. It’s a little sparse at the moment so we hope you go over there and ask us some shit. The Characters page is also up, though it will be a constant work in progress, always with new characters popping up. About Eric and About Rob are also up, so you can stalk us more easily. The store is up, although the selection is kind of crappy until we pump more money into it, feel free to buy stuff anyway. The other pages are coming soon!

Lastly, for those of you that complained, our RSS feed should be fixed now. Check it.

 

 

My Little Elijah Wood
November 25th, 2011 – By Eric

I got to thinking about how incredibly adorable Elijah Wood is and this was the result. I could honestly just carry around that guy in pocket all day. When I got sad or depressed I’d have him tell me some stories about The Shire or I’d have him reminisce about dancing with thousands of penguins to modern pop music.

And there’s the segue to my shameless plug. You know that movie that’s out in theaters right now, starring Elijah Wood? Happy Feet 2? It has it’s enjoyable moments, and I’m sure the kids are going to love it. But isn’t an award winning movie in my book. What totally SHOULD win all the awards is the 4 minute animated short “I Tawt I Taw A Puddy Tat” that plays in front of it. It’s pretty excellent, to tell you the truth. And not because I worked on it as the animation lead on Tweety and Granny. No, because it is some of the coolest Warner style 3D CGI animation you’ll ever see.

Check out this 30 second clip on the youtubes:

It even features the voice of the long dead Mel Blanc (how cool is that!?) And the awesome June Foray, who has pretty much voiced Granny since the dawn of time. A lot of animators and artists worked SUUUPER hard on it, so if anyone who reads this comic actually saw it, I’d love to hear what you thought…even if you want to complain about bringing the characters into CG. Well — no, actually, I don’t want to hear about that. Fucking deal with it.

We have an even cooler one (and I mean it, it’s waaaaay cooler) coming out starring Daffy and Elmer, and another Wile and Road Runner short coming in the future. It’s all up to Warner Brothers as to when that stuff comes out though. My studio just makes the pretty moving pictures.

Well, there you have it. I animate kids stuff by day, draw fucked up pseudo porn by night. It’s a good balance.

Later, haters.

A Skyrim Comic
November 20th, 2011 – By Eric

Originally I wanted to make a comic that was somewhat apologetic to all the girlfriends (and boyfriends?) of the world who have to suffer the loss of their significant other to the lands of Skyrim. (If you have no idea what Skyrim is, go play a fucking video game.) But the idea sort of devolved from that because I really wanted to draw an Eiffel Tower. Like….REALLY wanted to.

I was also gonna slap me and my girlfriend in the comic, but wanted to show some love to webcomic creator Andrew Gregoire and his woman from I am ARG. Sure, I may have gone a bit overboard on the love, but you can’t deny that it is indeed, love in it’s truest form. Sweet dovahkiin love. Check out his webcomic. It is greatness.

If I may be serious for a moment, The Elder Scrolls V: Skryim is one of the best games I have ever played. If I came home to Skyrim banging my girlfriend, I’d be overjoyed. I might have some performance anxiety for a little while, but I’m sure I’d get used to it after I leveled my penis up a bit. I would put all my skill points into pick pocketing.

We’re not usually big on inside jokes here at the HATEFARM, but if you don’t get the “FUS, ROH, DAH” bit, it’s probably for the best.

Hey vote for us on topwebcomics, wouldja? You can do it every day, in case, you know, you don’t own a copy of Skyrim.

Don’t Punch That Horse
November 13th, 2011 – By Eric

Big thanks to Theo for donating a bunch of money to our cause. $50 gets you a spot into one of our comics, and there he is in all his horse punching glory. Now, I should mention Theo didn’t get to choose what he’s pictured doing. He certainly didn’t ask to be raped by a horse. That was my idea. THANKS THEO!

The idea of someone punching a horse was so hilarious to me. I don’t condone animal cruelty unless it’s cats — It’s just that…who the hell punches a horse? As I reveled in my apparent originality, I searched the internet to see if anybody has done it before. Low and behold, there’s a whole fucking website dedicated to people punching horses. I can’t stay mad though, because it’s genius.

Next month I’m going to start bugging you guys to vote for us on topwebcomics. It’s something you can do every day and it really helps us get hits. And the more trolls we can get onto the site, telling us how much our comic sucks, the happier everybody will be. You can get in the habit of doing it now, I guess, but we’re really gonna need it starting the 1st so we have a chance at a good ranking. Another great way to help us out is by liking us or sharing us on facebook. We’re close to 400 followers, and when we hit 300 I made a sexy thank you image. I’ll probably do the same for 400.

Lastly, I’ve been meaning to give some props to some of my webcomic peeps. I am Arg is a biographical webcomic by professional animator and funkyman Andrew. It’s consistently funny and let me cut to the chase here — it has as much, if not more dicks than our webcomic. WIN! Louder Than Bombs is another biographical webcomic by McFaydn and Jay Fantastico. Two super swell guys and I gotta say the art style always gives me tingles.

I don’t know the guys that do these webcomics as well/at all, but I fucking love them and want to have sex with them anyway: Toonhole, Three Word Phrase, Perry Bible Fellowship. You guys know of any other awesome webcomics we should be copying loving on, let us know below.

So I wrote a Skyrim webcomic. You can expect that in a week or two. See image below:

 

Scented Flaps
November 6th, 2011 – By Rob

Well, hey internet! It’s me! Rob! Eric asked me to do the blog for this one, which is understandable considering I do very, very little work in comparison to him. I mean, he manages all of this site business and drawing like a world class fucking champ while advancing a demanding and time-consuming career and I got tired an hour ago walking back to the microwave to reheat the second half of my Chinese food leftovers. To be fair to myself, I am really hungover and the sesame seeds on that chicken probably weighed it down quite a bit.

This is a comic that I thought of because I’ve noticed from using tumblr too much that people will take their least popular quality or worst character flaw and turn it into a bold choice they made. Like the people with t-shirts that say “You call me a bitch like it’s a bad thing” or someone who thinks that they are “telling it like it is” to take the sting off of their racism. I’m sure there are plenty of ladies with smelly ladyparts out there that might not have any way to help it, and if you’re reading this, I am not trying to hurt your feelings! You deserve the right to frequent Scented Flaps. You are a human being, and you have every entitlement to being proud and confident not in spite of, but because of your womanly aura.

The rest of y’all bitches that be stinkin’ really do need to be takin’ a bath.

 

 

P.S. I didn’t specify, imply or request that any of the characters in this comic be visibly nude in any way. Eric decided, on his own, in his own creative, visionary little perverse mind, that there was going to be some cartoon tits all up in your collective face. This is a note to remind myself to contact his girlfriend and stage an intervention.

P.P.S. hehehe boobies

Modern Cartoons
November 4th, 2011 – By Eric

Let me be clear — I’m certainly not bashing any of the artists or even writers of The New Looney Tunes show. I just think it’s kind of retarded to reimagine beloved, timeless characters that worked just fine in their old element. They were funny. They’re still funny. I understand times are changing and Bugs Bunny might use a cell phone as a part of a gag. But do they really need to drive cars and live together in a sitcom environment? Bleugh.

Why do I care? Well, I have spent the last several years with the Looney Tunes characters, bringing the CGI-3D theatrical shorts to life. Last year we did 3 Wile Coyote cartoons and this year we have a Daffy + Elmer short, Sylvester + Tweety, and another Wile Coyote + Road Runner short. I was animation lead on Elmer, Tweety, and Road Runner. I think they are awesome shorts because we tried our best to capture the old style…old personality, old animation look even. Sure they are CGI (lets have that argument another day) but they still feel like the old characters.  If you want to make a modern sitcom cartoon, make some new characters. I’ve got tons of crappy character ideas if you want some help.

It’s just that…I loved these Looneys so dang much… a little… too much…

…sexually…

Anyway, check out “I Tawt I Taw a Putty Tat”, playing in front of Happy Feet 2, in theaters November 18th. It doesn’t suck, I promise. It even features the voice of the long dead Mel Blanc. How cool is that!?

If you don’t understand what’s going on in the last panel, here is the answer. I hope it reads. I guess that image horrified me so much as a teenager that I just assume it’s burned into everyone elses mind as well.

If you want to see more of my animation check out my demo reel, biatches. It’s my birthday today, so send me naked photos of yourself and lie to me about how talented I am.

SUPER FREAKIN SPECIAL THANKS to donators Adrian Love and Theodore Hill! Theodore donated a metric shit-ton of money so his likeness gets to be in a future comic. Thems the rules. Donate a enough money and get yourself drawn up in some embarrassing, immature situation (if you’re really lucky, it will involve dick jokes).

 

Back by popular demand
October 30th, 2011 – By Eric

And by popular demand I mean two or three of you requested a new Walter the Shy Necrophiliac comic for whatever reason (as if you could make more than one funny joke about a shy necrophiliac). This is the sad result. Actually though, I had a ton of fun drawing this special Halloween themed comic as it had all the staples of good art — babies being chainsawed, zombies, Looney Tunes references and boners. Speaking of Looney Tunes, you can look forward to more of it as I wrote a comic parodying the New Looney Tunes show. You can bet your bottoms that it will probably contain boners, senseless violence, and other such easy vehicles of comedy. Maybe some Justin Bieber jokes, if you’re lucky.

Here’s a preview of the upcoming “characters” subpage.

Zach Braff – Worlds greatest actor