Cigacide
March 11th, 2012 – By Eric
Yeah, sorry about this. Cancer is never funny…but I couldn’t resist. I’ve lost a loved one to cancer and I think it’s scary shit. I guess this is just my way of laughing off the fear. Either laugh off fear or become its bitch, I always (as of right now) say. I also felt like now was a pretty good time to piss off and/or depress our readers. Congratulations, readers! You have just been alienated!
I think there is something incredibly comedic about personifying dangerous or taboo objects into likable characters…and then to flip roles — where the once universally liked subject is turned into the enemy. These menthol cigarettes are portrayed as a lovable, adorable little family all snuggled up in their quaint foil decorated home. Lets forget for a second that portraying death sticks as cool dudes is morally and ethically wrong. Lets pretend for a minute that even the biggest idiot on the internet could understand satire when he saw it.
What if there was a Saturday morning cartoon show called “Cigarettes and Pals” where Marl the Cigarette and his buddies Wes the Handgun and Franky Nippleclamps went on wacky adventures together? They would have to fight back those pesky humans with their bullshit lies about global warming and at the end of the day, learn a really important lesson about capitalism. I’m playing around with a somewhat related comic idea that follows an action hero trash bag that fights against the evils of recycling. Maybe that shit just isn’t worth anyones time and I should get back to drawing boobies and dicks. Haha, “The Adventures of Dick and Boobie.” Guys, I think I just came up with the next webcomic.
One thing is for sure, I’m never writing a comic with this many talk bubbles again. Reading is so last century.
Oh, holy fucking shit! We have over 1,000 followers on Facebook! Really, you guys are wonderful. Far more wonderful than us. So if you want to send us your wonderful comic ideas maybe we can end this train-wreck of an experience and actually have some funny comics for a change. We promise to steal your ideas and fully credit ourselves. (If you’re not on our Facebook, get on it. We’re going to be adding special Facebook-only content soon…plus FB updates more frequently)
I updated our friends page with some hot webcomics you should definitely check out. The extras page features some new links, like interviews, appearances, and reviews (both good and bad). If you want to add to the list, do let us know. And we’re always accepting fan art or guest comics, if you’re cool enough.
I started a Webcomic Creator group on facebook! So far we have over 70 webcomic creators, joined together in sharing information, tips and tricks and eachothers bodys for sexual and/or sacrificial purposes. It’s been a real hoot. Hey, if you’re a webcomic creator, drop me a line and I’ll add you! It’s a party in here!
We have 2 advertising slots open on for the top advertising banner if you have a website you want to pimp. People seem to really like advertising with us. Reduced prices this week! That’s cool.
Wow. 40 comics. Also cool. Till next time, haters!
75 Comments
I definitly like the way you went about it. Cruel irony is the best because it’s based in fact. I know a few people with cancer who have told me not to smoke as they light up a cig. It’s pretty funny.
It’s either pretty funny or soul crushingly horrible. I like the stance you’re taking.
Can’t it be both?
this calls for a new word.
I dub thee Fnorrible! its funny, and horrible!
There pretty much is a word for it, but in a different language: Schadenfreude- it’s German for basically laughing at another’s pain/misfortune. It still baffles me that there is no such word in the English language because there should be.
Black lung humor?
+10 comedy points.
Well the real joke is how often I see this. I try to imagine what the logic is in the persons mind.
“Hey, this really sucks. I wonder what it would be like if this sucked even MORE. Huh… well only one way to find out.”
I see what you did there.
Based on the success of the Skyrim piece I think you would enjoy the results of another videogame comic. (I can hear your sighing)
But, I think a focal point would be around the MMO genre and huge boobs/steroidpenis. (See? boobs and dicks. full circle)
For real world example there’s two games on the horizon that have a lot of attention but not much media playtime,
Guild Wars 2 vs the BouncyTits of Tera Online
teratitsproof http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2pQA838Zos
There are plenty of shenanigans but if i stop talking about it now you really aren’t stealing my ideas! HAH
It really doesn’t matter what you do because I will see it and end up fapping. Unless it alienates me. fuck cancer.
I’m working on another video game comic, but it won’t be like… whatever horrors you just described.
You’ve read our minds, it is almost exactly time for us to start whoring for hits again.
While we’re on the topic of the Skyrim comic, I’m just curious but are the people who AREN’T Skyrim coloured versions of Arg and his girlfriend(Or at least their likenesses in Iamarg)?
You betcha they are!
“Either laugh off fear or become its bitch.” True words. As for the comic got to say, dark stuff, but funny. Keep it up.
Thanks, Jersey Rocker. Rock on.
Seems like judgement was delivered, and the wicked shall rue the day.
I love stories that end in a good rueing.
Well done sir, well done.
Hey everybody go check out this gentleman’s webcomic THE OBSCURE GENTLEMEN because I am too lazy to put a link on our links page at the moment! http://www.theobscuregentlemen.com
I just went there and my one word review is “Meh”
I’ll give it a “Meh… it’s nice.” review. Funny at times.
Thank you Sir. We aim to be meh and you Sir have solidified that this bar of meh has been reached!
Yes STOP THE CRUELTY TO CIGARETTES!!!
Let’s start a petition.
Good stuff. My wife is constantly in a state of “quitting smoking” and will only smoke if I “aggravate” her. Sometimes I know she tries to push me so that I’ll aggravate her so she’ll have an excuse to start smoking again. I feel this way about Maui Barbecue potato chips. And Hatefarm comics. Oh Hatefarm I wish I could quit you!
Yeah, I know all about using your significant other as a crutch. Marriage makes it worse. Oh, and I’m bitter.
I think this is my favorite Hate Farm yet.
I think YOU’RE my favorite hatefarm yet.
The truth hurts! the truth hurts! wahh
“Lung cancer” is just another term for “party in my pants”
My mother smoked 2-3 packs of cigarettes and died with lung cancer.
Except she died with the type of lung cancer you do NOT get from smoking.
So, I’m wholly amused by this comic.
Sorry to hear, Longtail. If I could kick anyone’s ass, it would be cancer’s.
Thanks, Eric. You rock.
And I just realized how non sequiturial and psychotic my statement was. I was thinking this guy probably has some kind of cancer that has nothing to do with the cigs and their firey deaths, which makes it more funny to me.
OK, that probably didn’t help the image of psychosis.
Lol, wow, I did not see it going that way. Well done.
That’s good to hear, I felt like it was predictable.
Haha! I was smoking a menthol while I read this! The lil’ cigarette buddies are inside me forever. They are a part of me now. We are one.
I either sound very zen or like a deranged serial killer right now.
Zen, serial killer, it’s just two sides of the same coin, anyhow.
You could be right about that.
Did you know that John Wayne Gacy painted while he was on death row? I think Marilyn Manson might have bought one of the paintings. I’m not sure. I was like, fifteen when I read it.
If you imagine this with tampons it makes more sense.
Awe man, the missed opportunities sting, sometimes.
Well I say more sense… There would be a greater sense of peril. Some people may have left this comic, crying. It’d be like… the ending to Toy Story 3, when they all join hands and accept their fate as they slide helplessly into a burning pit of molten metal.
Except it’d be a vagina… Actually, it could either be an ending to a sad story, or some kind of porno with sentient tampons as the co-stars. I’d watch it.
What the shit? I wanted filth. Not a message! I mean it’s a funny message. But I was more in smutty mood.
You know we can’t go too long without some smut, Saeed. It’ll always be back.
Dark humor is usually the best type of humor in my opinion. Throw in some cuddly self-aware cigarettes and you can’t go wrong.
Dark, dirty, and witty. Keep it coming.
Noted! Dark, dirty, and wiener humor on the way.
“You’re kool in my book, Cam” I smoked kool’s for many a year. Which just makes the menthol part even more amusing to me, hilarity is found in abundance here.
Glad somebody enjoyed those stupid puns.
Yea…never gonna alienate me, sorry. You’re stuck with me for a while.
We’re getting a “like” or “thumbs up” option put into these comments because of you, Nick. Because I want to like your comment. But I’m too lazy to comment myself.
Nice idea. Making cigarettes the ones who are being killed one by one, showing how their relationship is destructive for both, the person and themselves.
Let me get a lil’ bit higher and I’ll write a whole paper about how deep and meaningful this webcomic is. XD
You won’t be doing a depressing month just like Cyanide and Happiness has got their depressing comic week, right? Hehe.
Nah, as much as I’d like to be a downer all the time, Rob well inevitably write a comic with something happy in it.
Nice try, thing is you can’t alienate people by doing a dark humor comic strip. At least not the ones I hang out with, if anything, you just got a few more readers… ^.^ ..|.
I’ll work on my technique. Maybe I should do a comic about nazi pedophiles.
Awwww. And just as I was taking biscuits out of the oven. Seriously. Not even kidding. You two are delightfully evil in a biscuit-finishing way.
My grandmother was just diagnosed with breast cancer and we spent all of Wednesday at City of Hope with her. My mom ended up hiding behind the generator with this guy so they wouldn’t get caught smoking. This really cheered me up. I love their names!
Great comic, guys! You oddly were able to strike a perfect balance between silly and serious, which is something not a lot of people can do.
Oh yeah, was a big fan of mall monkeys back in the day. They day when webcomics were actually entertaining. Glad to see you made a comeback and improved your style and storytelling tenfold! Gotta get that CD by the way! Keep it up!
If your name is based on the Clock Tower video game, thank you for awaking a longtime fear.
Haha, it is! One of my favorite games and it’s awesome that you know about it! Scissorman was a creepy little bastard alright.
He absolutely was. I played through that game in the living room of my friend’s house one night and had his mother and four sisters laughing at me hysterically while I vocalized my panic the entire time. It’s a shame the sequel attempts were garbage.
Trust me, I had my own bouts of jumping and squealing as that teleporting hunchback jumped out of everything in sight. Definitely one of the most underrated horror games. And you’re right when you say the sequels were terrible, and boy were they. If you want a sort of “spiritual successor” to Clock Tower, you should check out Haunting Ground for PS2. If I remember, some of the Clock Tower team had a hand in making it, and it was actually very good.
I’m definitely going to look into that, thanks! I wish this game were more relevant so we could do a comic about it. Maybe I’ll sneak that little fucker in somewhere in the future.
That would be awesome to see the little creep in the comic! Perhaps a segement like “History of Rob”, or “Rob’s musings”, or “Rob’s deepest, innermost terrors”. You were playing Clock Tower one night when you were younger and after being so terrified, Scissorman somehow manifested himself from your fears and often pays you visits just to stir up the old terror again in horrible, hilarious ways. Just a thought, but seeing Scissorman in any way, shape, or form in the comic would be outstanding!
If we ever need to explain why I am a broken man, that might be necessary.
I just quit smoking. It’s been 5 days. and you know what… tomorrow is going to suck even more.
I know that feel, bro. I had a heart attack about a week ago & spent about 1-1/2 days in the hospital for it. TBH, the time spent in the hospital was scarier than the thoughts running through my head during the heart attack…The shit they did to me, I don’t want to talk about.
To top it all off, they still want me to quit smoking (even if it’s by use of force) even though the plaque buildup that caused the attack had to do with high cholesterol and nothing with smoking.
No cancer at all and I wonder if I’m somehow immune to it even though I’ve got a family with history for it (even cases where smoking WAS a direct cause) & have been smoking for most of my life (about 37 years or so) & have been on 3-packs per day for about 3 years.
Yeah, I know that I can’t be truly immune, but I also wonder how my “luck” has lasted so long as to make cholesterol be my most likely killer up to this point in my life.
Great job, satire and irony are great!!
It’s been exactly a year since i quit. Here’s to another year!
Congrats! I started caving in whenever I get drunk now. I can’t recommend it.
Dark humor is definitely the best humor ever. That’s why I love games like Portal.
On a serious note, I’ve never smoked, and I never will. I’ve lost too many family members to cancer, and we buried my aunt this month because she smoked like a fiend most of her life and developed lung cancer. May she RIP.
Landed here from some folks sharing on twitter… pretty awesome strip to get me started I would say… LOL. its funny and sad at the same time, nice work. I look forward to reading more.
Sorry about that person you know who died from cancer. :’( Anyways, DON’T DO DRUGS KIDS!! CRACK IS WHACK AND THERE’S NO NEED FOR WEED!!! Btw: can I share this comic on facebook? (If I can, how do I do that?) Just to show it to my friends what happens to cigarette cruelty.
PS: I just realized all those names of those cigarettes are names of cigarette brands. Lol
Just click the “like” button directly underneath the comic and you’ll share it on your wall!
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