HateFarm

The Manhandler
May 7th, 2012 – By Eric

The Manhandler, from Mistress Missy Toys! Show Mom you care this Mothers Day by picking her up a few for Dad. They’ll both be much happier for it.

Sorry for the half-assed comic you guys. I have been working 10-12 hour days without much or any weekend at work. We are currently on the most god awful theme park ride production ever with some seriously ‘challenged’ directors. The end is near however, and we hope to resume you to your regularly scheduled Hatefarming in just 1 or 2 weeks.

In case you were wondering, I’m a CG animator outside of the comic world and I just put up a new demoreel for the internet to see. Take a look:

Eric’s Animation Demo Reel

Thanks to everyone who has been voting for Hatefarm in the Comicmix NSFW webcomic competition. It means the world to us. Well, to me. Rob is probably mildly amused. ROUND THREE JUST OPENED UP and once again your votes brought us on top! We’re up against Menage A 3 and have no chance of winning but a couple of cool dudes with attitudes can dream, can’t they? Cast your new vote HERE! You can vote every day if you are so inclined and you can even donate money to give us a whole bunch of votes (it goes to charity!) But if you’re going to spend money us you should probably just do it directly so that we can spend it on website stuff and also charity is lame.

To make up for lack of updates/comic awesomeness, here is a sneek peek of another project I am working on. I am rebooting an old animation I did (I was a freshman in college) called Merry Melony. I am rebooting it into what I’m calling an “interactive graphic novel” with full audio for PC and hopefully Ipad. Here is some VERY early concept work to get your googly eyes a googlin’. I am taking a vacation in the coming months and I hope to dedicate it solely to this project as well as Hatefarm. You can follow the brand spanking new Merry Melony Production Blog right here! And you should. It’s gonna be awesome.

   

Oh, and have another depraved edition of “Awesome Shit People Googled”, where people search for terrible things and find our webcomic.

Love you guys so much, I’ll call you later. <3 <3 <3

XOXOXOXOXO

-Eric

tags: mistress missy, merry melony, chastity, belt, husbands, mothers, gift, product, toy, ventilation, liquidation, pelvis, remote, buy the manhandler today and get six grinders free!

Mistress Missy Comes Clean
April 17th, 2012 *updated May 2nd – By Eric

VOTE FOR HATEFARM AS YOUR FAVORITE NSFW WEBCOMIC on Comicmix.com! (It’s a new round of voting as of 5/2!)

On the note of future comics, I am currently in crunch time at work on a universal studios ride production. I’m hoping the crazy hours only lasts another week and I can get back to Hatefarming. In the mean time, sorry about the delay.

Check out the winners of the Hatefarm tagline contest! Thanks to everybody who sent stuff in!

We know Mistress Missy is a celebrity bondage queen with strange superhuman sexual powers, but how did she get that way? Well, if your mother was La Blue Girl and your father a Shikima (tentacle monster demon) then you might have those same abilities. But in all seriousness guys, porn stars have it hard. They have to bottle up all sorts of pent up emotions into their orifices and swallow their pride for the enjoyment of others. So if you see one out there, give him or her a big hug and try not to dry hump.

I’ve known about La Blue Girl since I was a teenager. I knew it was one of the more popular tentacle porn animes available and that’s about it… I had never actually watched the show until I started planning this comic. I had to do…extensive “research” because I wanted the comic to look really authentic and to also have vagina wallpaper. I had no idea the anime would be so fucking hilarious, though! Especially the english subtitled version. I enjoyed it so much that I could watch the whole series — but not for sexual reasons. No, I will stick to my horse porn for that, weirdos. I was ranting about how hilarious it was on the twitters when Grey Carter turned me onto an even sillier anime – the English version of Ghost Stories. Do yourself a favor and watch these clips. They completely changed the script and said virtually anything they wanted to for the English version and it’s hilarious.

James over at The Obscure Gentlemen interviewed Rob and I about comics and future projects and stuff. It’s short, sexy and yellow, just like my genitals. Thanks, Obscure Gentlemen! Go on, read it!

Also I wanted to give a shout out to our advertisers, I am Arg, Crazy Sunshine, and The Frumps for keeping this website alive. They all happen to have great webcomics too, so check them out. We have one bottom ad advertising slot open if you’re interested. Also HUGE thanks to Colin B. for donating $60 to us! That gets his likeness in a future comic (thems the rules…donate today!) and also feeds the website the nutrients it needs to grow strong.

Love you bye bye, Eric

tags: mistress missy, bondage, bdsm, porn, queen, pornstar, tentacle, married, banana, vagina wallpaper, anime, dinner, family, prick, whore, cry, mother, father, ejaculate, drippy, med school, dominatrix, Uncle Rapey’s 14th tentacle is a little drippy today…martha get the wet naps!

A Mass Effect Comic
April 2nd, 2012 – By Rob

VIDEO GAME COMIC ALERT! Every time a webcomic makes reference to or light of a popular video game, an angel gets a full erection. Haha, just kidding! I am not an angel. But seriously, folks: how about that Mass Effect 3? I know this isn’t the most current or timely reference but Eric needs time to harness his drawing magics and Justin was messing around with some new commenting systems. Ultimately we decided to stick with the old commenting system but now there are LIKES! Go ahead, scroll down and like someone else’s comment, it’s a thrill! If you missed yesterday’s April Fools comic, you can see it again here. If you saw it and didn’t like it, get the hell out. Just get the hell out. For anybody wondering, yes, I actually drew it and yes, that was really DMX and Eric really farted. Those of you cats excited to have the real HATEFARM back, check out all the tasty new links over on the links page and shiny new banners to help tell your friends to get all up in this business. We would very much appreciate it.

Speaking of appreciation, panel one co-stars a fine man by the name of Andrew S., depicted as the grateful C-Sec officer as a reward for his incredibly generous donation of $60 to the site. This is highly encouraged behavior, especially because thinking of new faces to draw all the time is hard work. So, you give us money, we give you internet fame and posterity for the ages. Everybody wins! Also, for any of you poor souls interested in buying a Mall Monkeys CD, you can now see a few samples of the fantastic personalized drawings Eric will do at your command as a bonus.

As depicted above, I find it alarmingly intrusive that Shepard makes it his business to eavesdrop on everybody he (or she) encounters and then surprise them with favors or gifts. Also, stop trying to sleep with everybody you meet! I mean, I enjoy the option being there for same-sex and inter-species folks getting it on equally, but you’ve got an Earth to save, you salacious creep. Keep your head in the game!

Also, without painting a huge target on my head or giving away any spoilers, the nonsense complaining about the ending to Mass Effect 3 has got to stop. At best, it encourages more tacked-on DLC for future games to give people the “full experience” that should be on the disc in the first place. At worst, you are demanding that somebody elses art be different because you didn’t like it and if we all had the right to do that, nothing would ever get done. It’s still a rich, solid story and enjoyable gameplay experience (the multiplayer is oddly addictive to me) and to be honest [POSSIBLE SPOILER ZONE] I quite like the idea of having the boundaries of morality made more vague and the sense of urgency presented by the ending(s). Whether you played as a strict Paragon or careless Renegade or merely followed whatever your instinct told you do, the end result and goal remain largely similar. That’s just the way that story pans out. Deal with it, crybabies. Use all that angry energy for something good, like political activism or making really dumb jokes on the internet. [END OF POSSIBLE SPOILINGS]

I’m glad I could get that off my chest, but I think just felt my sex appeal drop a few points. Oh, the sacrifices I make for you people.

By the way, I joined the twitterverse or whatever you call it. Eric still maintains the official @HATEFARM and you can find me at @HatefarmRob for all my officially licensed unofficial nonsense. It’s a lot like my blog posts except the 140 character limit keeps you from despising me for typing so many words to say so precious little.
- Rob

tags: mass effect 3, creeping, Shepard, asari, salarian, citadel, tangy, underwear, cat, quest, side-quest, favor, galactic readiness, fan, webcomic, comic, video game, laundry, donation, give us money please

Cigacide
March 11th, 2012 – By Eric

Yeah, sorry about this. Cancer is never funny…but I couldn’t resist. I’ve lost a loved one to cancer and I think it’s scary shit. I guess this is just my way of laughing off the fear. Either laugh off fear or become its bitch, I always (as of right now) say. I also felt like now was a pretty good time to piss off and/or depress our readers. Congratulations, readers! You have just been alienated!

I think there is something incredibly comedic about personifying dangerous or taboo objects into likable characters…and then to flip roles — where the once universally liked subject is turned into the enemy. These menthol cigarettes are portrayed as a lovable, adorable little family all snuggled up in their quaint foil decorated home. Lets forget for a second that portraying death sticks as cool dudes is morally and ethically wrong. Lets pretend for a minute that even the biggest idiot on the internet could understand satire when he saw it.

What if there was a Saturday morning cartoon show called “Cigarettes and Pals” where Marl the Cigarette and his buddies Wes the Handgun and Franky Nippleclamps went on wacky adventures together? They would have to fight back those pesky humans with their bullshit lies about global warming and at the end of the day, learn a really important lesson about capitalism. I’m playing around with a somewhat related comic idea that follows an action hero trash bag that fights against the evils of recycling. Maybe that shit just isn’t worth anyones time and I should get back to drawing boobies and dicks. Haha, “The Adventures of Dick and Boobie.” Guys, I think I  just came up with the next webcomic.

One thing is for sure, I’m never writing a comic with this many talk bubbles again. Reading is so last century.

Oh, holy fucking shit! We have over 1,000 followers on Facebook! Really, you guys are wonderful. Far more wonderful than us. So if you want to send us your wonderful comic ideas maybe we can end this train-wreck of an experience and actually have some funny comics for a change. We promise to steal your ideas and fully credit ourselves. (If you’re not on our Facebook, get on it. We’re going to be adding special Facebook-only content soon…plus FB updates more frequently)

I updated our friends page with some hot webcomics you should definitely check out. The extras page features some new links, like interviews, appearances, and reviews (both good and bad). If you want to add to the list, do let us know. And we’re always accepting fan art or guest comics, if you’re cool enough.

I started a Webcomic Creator group on facebook! So far we have over 70 webcomic creators, joined together in sharing information, tips and tricks and eachothers bodys for sexual and/or sacrificial purposes. It’s been a real hoot. Hey, if you’re a webcomic creator, drop me a line and I’ll add you! It’s a party in here!

We have 2 advertising slots open on for the top advertising banner if you have a website you want to pimp. People seem to really like advertising with us. Reduced prices this week! That’s cool.

Wow. 40 comics. Also cool. Till next time, haters!

tags: cigarettes, menthol, smoking, smokes, tobacco, cancer, lung cancer, hospital, patient, family, webcomic, taboo, comic, marl, slim, cam, camel, marlboro, virginia slims, when i was a little boy my fists were made of cheese

Tumblr
March 4th, 2012 – By Eric

Note: The above comic should be animated…if it’s not…uh…try harder.

This week I was inspired by several things — ridiculously cute anime, ridiculously violent anime, super happy fuzzy cutie ferrets, and of course, Tumblr. Originally I wanted anime girl here to get so excited that she shot through the wall, leaving only a cartoony, person-shaped hole. But I was looking at the rough and realized, oh my god, this comic is actually cute. It could be suitable for very small children, even. Disgusted with myself, I immediately scrapped the sketch of the last panel in favor of something more depraved and uncomfortable. I also hope that I maintained a somewhat accurate representation of anime/manga stylings, because it wasn’t nearly as easy as I thought it would be. Anime artists and animators get my respect!

I’m pretty sure everybody on the internet knows this by now, but in case my mom is reading: “kawaii” is the japanese word for cute. Rob loathes the word, so you should write him some extremely kawaii pokemon fan fiction.

If you liked this comic even remotely, why not upvote it on reddit?

I got myself one of those fancy Tumblr’s if you want to follow me on it. I post lots of pictures and weird drawings. I’m also pretty active on twitter these days. The need to follow people/have more followers is starting to slowly become a “thing” and I am already looking forward to my twitter intervention party.

Animating at the studio is getting insanely busy, so updates in the future may not be fantastically frequent. We’ll see! Oh, thanks everybody for buying Mall Monkeys CDs! They’re still selling which is more than anyone could have ever guessed.

*update*! Thanks to Andrew Schlueter for donating! He donated $60 so that gets his likeness in a future comic, if he wants. Andrew, we’ll be contacting you about that soon. *high five*

tags: tumblr, webcomic, comic, internet, animated, gif, girl, anime, manga, japanese, cute, kawaii, adorable, fuzzy, ferret, images, exploded, gore, combustion, guts, blood, laptop, cat, kitty, woman, pillow, death, cuteness, my uncle frank makes tears for a living

Gimmie A Taste of That Sweet, Sweet Treat
February 25th, 2012 – By Rob

Hey, look at that! A new comic! Isn’t that neat?

After Eric’s valiant efforts for that Adventure Time poster (which is still available FOR SALE in poster format, in case you didn’t know), his hands melted so we had to send him to see a specialist that could give him some brand new baby hands. Then we had to get to a time accelerator so he could age his hands to perfection and draw up the lovely images you see above. It was a long, expensive process but, as you can see, totally worth it.

Check out this funky timelapse video of Eric painting one of the panels.

I don’t have much of anything to say about this comic. I took a true story, threw it into a hyperbole chamber, baked for 20-30 minutes at 425 degrees until the edges were brown and the internal temperature reached 165 degrees. None of this actually happened, except for the 1980′s. They totally happened. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

Anyway, that’s that. Expect a video game comic from me soon because I played the Mass Effect 3 demo for hours last night and it’s probably going to consume me at some point in the near future. Although, I have a new PC coming my way, so I might be too busy starting my new life on The Old Republic. What about you, you bunch of nerds? What are you playing these days?

*Update 7:30 PM* We just found a fan made video for our Skyrim comic that is nothing short of excellent. Check it out and give this man the thumbs up he deserves.

More from Eric: “Thanks to Austin May for donating to Hatefarm! It’s because of awesome men like him that we can stay on the internet and make silly, perverted comics. He’s got his own webcomic called Airforce Blues. It’s not nearly as perverted but you should definitely check it out and show him some love. Lastly, check out our updated friends page to go read even more awesome webcomics.”

Adventure Movie
February 12th, 2012 (UPDATED February 13th!)- By Eric

Phew! This took a while to make. Originally inspired by the awesome Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie poster, I wanted to pay tribute to what I think is currently the best cartoon on television, Adventure Time. If you aren’t familiar with it, get familiar with it. I’ll be here, waiting for you to fill your brain with awesome.

At first I wanted to make the poster as if it was for an awkward Robert Zemeckis CG mocap movie (see: Polar Express). I think some of that fugly character design feeling remains, but ultimately I took all of the jabs towards mocap out because the poster stands on it’s own without them. I wanted to have the worst possible casting at first but then Rob reeled me in from crazytown as he so often does and said, “Hey man, Adventure Time is awesome, don’t fuck it up.” And he was right. So after much deliberation we came to the casting choices that weren’t just entirely silly, but choices that could actually kind of work in a movie. Curious to know… how would you cast your Adventure Time movie?

I made this thing at giganto size because I knew I was going to want a poster sized print of it. If anybody out there is interested in a print, email me and I’ll see what I can do. I don’t know of any printing services other than Kinko’s, so if you’ve got suggestions don’t hold out on a brotha. Here are some detail closeups:

You’ll notice there are some new social sharing options under each comic now. We’d love for you to share this on reddit (or up-vote it), like it on facebook, tweet it, stumble it, tumblr it, bumble it, mumble it, grundle it, and do all those good things. Social sharing is one of our main sources of getting new readers (and consequently, STD’s) so spread the love hate!

CAV of Cav Pollo comics (en espanol) made us this sweet guest comic. We love him for that. You should make us a guest comic too. We’ll put it on the extras page and tell everyone about how seriously fucking awesome you are.

THE 8th ANNUAL VALENTINES DAY SEX DRIVE!

Every year on Valentines Day, comic creator Stef Marcinkowski of Sarah Zero does this little shindig where he posts a nude drawing of one of his comic characters and asks other webcomics to do the same. On this magical day, cartoon boobies roam the internet, finally free to live their lives as nature intended. You’ll also be able to see all of the other comics that participated below. So go check em out, ya perverts, and have a happy V-day!

Other VDSD Comics:

• Raven’s Dojo:
  http://ravensdojo.com
• Chimneyspeak.
  http://chimneyspeak.com
• Sarah Zero.
  http://sarahzero.com
• Endless City.
  http://endlesscity.thewebcomic
  .com/
• Mozhaets.
  http://freefalling-flightless.squarespace.com/mozhaets
• Epic Fail.
  http://epicfail.xepher.net
• Prepare to Die.
  http://www.onyxsparrow.com/
  prepare_to_die/index.cfm
• Alone in a Crowd.
  http://aiacrowd.com
• Execution Day.
  http://www.executionday.
  thecomicseries.com
• Lacey Investigations.
  http://www.lacey-investigations.com
• Ardra.
  http://www.ardracomic.com
• Blaster Nation.
  http://www.blasternation.com
• TDUGN.
  http://tdugn.com
• Jazz and Jess.
  http://www.jazzandjess.com

On a totally seperate and awesome note, the Mall Monkeys CDs came in the mail, and I have shipped them out to everyone who has ordered one (Except for G  reyTheTick, who ordered the special GET-WHATEVER-YOU-WANT-DRAWN SPECIAL…examples coming soon!) If you haven’t ordered, you’re missing out on years worth of webcomic goodness for just $10! All proceeds go towards making HATEFARM more awesome. Course, you could always just donate. ($50 or more gets your likeness in a future comic…more details on our FAQ)

            

Lastly we have 2 1 advertising spot open (one rotating spot on the top ads) if you’re into getting hits for your website and stuff.

tags: danny devito, ryan gosling, emma stone, adrien brody, mila kunis, zooey deschanel, john travolta, gary busey, adventure time, jake the dog, finn the human, marceline, vampire, princess bubblegum, lumpy space princess, lsp, princess rainacorn, ice king, cinnamon bun, movie poster, realistic, webcomic, comic, cartoon, my keyboard tastes like purple on mondays because thats touch myself day

Mall Monkeys
January 29th, 2012 – By Eric

The Mall Monkeys page is now up! Lovers of internet nostalgia rejoice! If you were a MM fan, go enjoy your sobering trip down memory lane. If you’ve never heard of Mall Monkeys, go do some reading. Educate your friends and family — they’ll be astonished at your useless early-2000′s indie webcomic knowledge. You might even get a friend or two by joining the Mall Monkeys fan group on Facebook. It’s run by mostly cool guys, I promise the creators have nothing to do with it.

Maybe you’ll even buy a CD? Better yet, buy a CD with an insert on which I’ll draw ANYTHING YOU WANT. ANYTHING. Yeah. You know that sounds sexy. I’ll even autograph it for you (using my hands or penis) if that’s what it takes for you to give the HATEFARM cause money. All proceeds go towards making this site more awesome, and finally getting that Chinese sweatshop of inkers and painters that I’ve always wanted.

Well, no real comic this week because getting this all together was quite a bit of work. I ordered the CD’s and they are currently in production. Excite! Next week we hope to return you to your regular HATEFARM goodness. But in the meantime, you can read this interview with me at Kara Ashley Dey’s site, if you like. In it, I talk about the comic, my painting and animation career. I do my best to pretend to know what I’m talking about, but even when I’m just recounting my own memories I get pretty confused and dizzy and it makes for an altogether unintelligible experience and I all too frequently mention very personal things like my affinities for snail porn and Denver the Last Dinosaur.

I want to thank you guys for getting A Skyrim Comic over 500 likes! That’s pretty intense. I wish more than three of you guys actually liked one or two of our other comics, but beggars can’t be choosers. We’ll probably be renaming HATEFARM to “Skyrim Orgies” soon. To celebrate, I updated the Extras page with new avatars. Because you guys like them sooo much and I’m seeing them all over the internet. Just kidding, they’re worthless, just like my ability to love.

Don’t forget to like us on Facebook, because we would really like that. We’re also on Twitter and Inkoutbreak. You could vote for us on Topwebcomics if you really wanted to, but I mean, I wouldn’t if I were you. I don’t and I’m me. So it’s cool.

<3

 

A Many-Splendored Thing
January 22nd, 2012 – By Rob

Greetings, internet weirdos! It’s your ol’ buddy Ron! I mean Rob. I could have corrected that typo manually, but I feel like I deserve to be chastised for my inability to spell my own fucking name. It’s only been 26 years with it, to be fair to myself. I’m still adjusting.

This comic was inspired by a very silly conversation I had with a friend of mine about a week or two ago, the initial concept having been a “self-defense” method that relies on lulling your opponent into a false sense of security before attacking them. Then, through the miracle of my keyboard, it turned into something much simpler and easily forgettable. I don’t want to get too behind-the-scenes here and ruin the mystique surrounding my brilliance, but I was eating a handful of gummy bears and listening to some music when it… just… hit me.

I jolted upright in my chair, clamoring for the keyboard before realizing I would first need to utilize my mouse to both pause and then minimize my open VLC media player. Now was not the time to continue my private Southland marathon, refreshing myself for the upcoming season. No, my friends. Now was not that time at all. My mind whirred with the possibilities – a wedding, the words “boo thang”, an out of place video game reference that almost certainly signifies I spend far too much time on my Xbox 360. These blessed, nimble little fingers of mine danced happily to the tune of my script. This is what the girl will say! And this is what that guy will say! And here is the panel where I awkwardly describe how I’d like Eric to draw that which, in my glorious imagination, has tickled me in the most pleasurable and yet non-sexual of ways. Yes, I was fully erect.  But it was of profound coincidence.

Or perhaps not. Perhaps my bulging, swollen member was but another way of my body urging itself to unleash this creation upon the internet to be glanced over and forgotten without so much as a click of the “Like” button. My seed would be cast into the fertile womb of Eric’s doodly-box (or for your simple minds to comprehend, his artistic mind) and from the slick folds of his pen’s vagina would a gush of beauty spill on the canvas of his choosing. Then I think he just colors it in MSPaint or something. I honestly don’t know how he does it.

 

So yeah. That’s what goes on in my mind sometimes. Now, tell me a little about yourselves. Here is a photo of me looking interested in what you have to say to make you feel comfortable.

Pillsburied Death Strudels
January 14th, 2012 – By Eric

Are you an emo, goth, or all around spoiled teenager? Did you ask for an iPhone or car for Christmas, but didn’t get one? Head on down to your local grocery and pick yourself up a box of bittersweet death, from Pillsburied. (Not to be confused with Pillsbury – those products, while delicious, contain significantly less lethal toxin) Don’t forget to share with your brothers and sisters! Before you know it, your mom will be lamenting her poor decisions for the rest of her life, and the Pillsburied Death Boy will have more young souls for his underworld army. It’s a win-win.

So big update today — our archive is up and running. There is a new page up called “Awesome Shit People Googled” which, really, is just an ongoing collection of hilarious google searches people used to get to our webcomic. We have some advertising thanks to IamArg and Hyperbolic Bubble. Please support our website by clicking on their ads and giving their websites a looksee!

If you want to support HATEFARM even further, than please like us on facebook and follow us on twitter! Lastly, and probably most importantly, we joined up with INKOUTBREAK — probably the most badass way to browse your favorite webcomics and discover new ones. Seriously, it makes topwebcomics and most any other comic list look like trash. I would love you forever if you followed our comic on Inkoutbreak — you should be able to do it with the new button on the right. Also we joined their link exchange, which means there are other comics being advertised to the right — I pick which comics are shown to so you’re only going to see quality business over there.

Justin Scheetz is the web genius behind our site… and while there are big plans for added content, today he finished with all the important design work and implementation! He is finished and everything else is on me. I wanted to shout out a HUUUUUGE thanks to him for all his hard work. As I’m sure you can agree, this site is pretty hooked up and delicious. Check out his design website and if you’re in the market for it, purchase one of his wordpress themes. They will NOT disappoint.

Rob wrote an extremely excellent comic for next week and you should be super excited about it, like me.
E