ACTION STATS:
- Height: Can get things from the top shelf all by himself.
- Weight: Sixteen tons of dense matter.
- Age: Timeless.
- Alignment: Chaotic neutral, liberal pussy and card-carrying member of a secret society so secret that he’ll be murdered just for mentioning it.
- Abilities: Tetris block management, conversational sorcery, highly skilled at boning (hamboning, jamboning and zamboning, respectively), full-on tantrums of nerd rage, world class procrastinator, self-effacing narcissism, heart of solid gold and a round trip rider on the soul train.
- Weaknesses: Gummy bears, the “Jurassic Bark” episode of futurama, seasonal allergies and girls with nice butts.
- Bonus: +6 CON, +3 DEX, +9 BBQ.
- Other Rob Links:
- Email Rob
Biography
Rob was brought into the world by two people far too kind for their own good, raised to feel confident in his ability and status in the world. Then he started school, met other kids and it all went to shit. Since then, it’s been one big recovery project. Eric was one of the few peers in which he found any semblance of kinship and thus he continued to embarrass him for the following twenty years. Much of that time has involved scribbling down ideas for comics that Eric would draw much better than he could, the content of which usually elicits a response in a range from approving smirk to momentary, child-like giggling.
Rob seems to recently have a penchant for relocating around the Philadelphia suburb region but is looking to settle down somewhere nice, like Canada. He likes to listen to music that isn’t on the radio because it makes him feel like a cool, cool guy. He completely, unironically enjoys the work of Nicolas Cage and his social life occasionally involves a 30 pack of cheap beer and a marathon of playing Mario Party on a barely functioning N64 with friends. He believes in using both shampoo and conditioner, only in that order and never combined in the same bottle. His sign used to be Cancer, now people tell him it’s something different and he somehow cares less than he already did.
So, Uh…
When not writing in the third person, Rob is also working on more serious non-comic writing as well as a graphic novel for which he has no artist because Eric is such a big shot fancypants that he can’t dedicate the free time he doesn’t even have to a project still in the redrafting stages for free. If you would like to draw it for him, give him your Xbox Live gamertag so he can lose to you in Call of Duty or compliment him in some way, you can contact him via the email address in the picture above.
9 Comments
Does somebody pay you to make these comics, or for any of your other writing to which you allude? Because I’m a professional amateur writer and idea-haver who occasionally scribbles out pseudoartistic doodles myself, and I’d like to be paid to keep that up if there’s a market in it.
So, “Any tips?” is what I’m asking, I suppose.
Have you seen the shit with my name attached to it? Nobody should be paying me anything ever.
I have no degree and a marginal amount of effort put into the hobby of writing. It’s something that I am passionate about in theory more than practice. I have a “real” (read: boring and simple) job that helps me occasionally pay bills. Tell you what, if somebody starts paying you to write, please let ME know how you did it.
Self-motivate, self-produce and self-publish. That is what I would give in the way of tips. There are two things to consider when taking this into account, however. One being that I am a supergenius and never wrong. The other being that I am not a professional and have no grounds for what I’m saying other than I’ve heard it from some source or another in the past and it makes sense to me.
I hope this… helped? Oh, Gary. Dear, sweet Gary. I wish you better luck than I’ve had.
If it helps at all, I think your writing on this website is hilarious. In fact, I’m gonna waste my time now and make a list of my favorite quotes:
‘Every time a webcomic makes reference to or light of a popular video game, an angel gets a full erection. Haha, just kidding! I am not an angel.’
‘Greetings, internet weirdos! It’s your ol’ buddy Ron! I mean Rob. I could have corrected that typo manually, but I feel like I deserve to be chastised for my inability to spell my own fucking name. It’s only been 26 years with it, to be fair to myself. I’m still adjusting.’
‘Bears are sort of the unofficial mascot of this comic, I think. Birthday ones, polar ones, kinky sitcom-parodizing ones. But in a way, isn’t that how it is in life? We’re all just different kinds of bears, you guys.’
I’m supposed to be working on something important beyond anything that has ever crossed my schedule before, and I am 4 weeks behind already. so, there’s 3 things that I remember genuinely made me laugh at some point, while most things cannot.
I just saw this and wanted to thank you, Reice! I am glad that you find me at least partially as amusing as I do and I am truly somewhat humbled.
2-in-1 Shampoo Conditioners are a true abomination.
Would this undrawn graphic novel have any monsters and nekkid women in it, perchance?
Probably not, unfortunately! It’s a lot lighter fare than anything Hatefarm-related. I’m looking to keep it mostly family friendly.
Rob, you do stand up comedy, don’t you?
I do not!